WI Judge: No “Fundamental Right” to Own a Cow, or Consume Its Milk…Am I Making Myself Clear?
The Complete Patient
September 21, 2011
Those raw milk proponents advocating “teach, teach, teach” may want to enroll Wisconsin Judge Patrick J. Fiedler in their first class–in the kindergarten section.
In response to a request from the Farm-to-Consumer Legal Defense Fund, the judge issued a clarification of his decision last week regarding his assessment of the constitutionality of food rights. The judge expanded on his original statement that such constitutional issues are “wholly without merit.”
He explained that the FTCLDF arguments were “extremely underdeveloped.” As an example, he said the plaintiffs’ use of the Roe v Wade abortion rights case as a precedent does “not explain why a woman’s right to have an abortion translates to a right to consume unpasteurized milk…This court is unwilling to declare that there is a fundamental right to consume the food of one’s choice without first being presented with significantly more developed arguments on both sides of the issue.” Gee, I thought they both had to do with the right to decide what to do with your own body.
As if to show how pissed he was at being questioned, he said his decision translates further that “no, Plaintiffs to not have a fundamental right to own and use a dairy cow or a dairy herd;
“no, Plaintiffs do not have a fundamental right to consume the milk from their own cow;”
And in a kind of exclamation point, he added this to his list of no-nos: “no, Plaintiffs do not have a fundamental right to produce and consume the foods of their choice…”
You have to wonder if maybe even the regulators are getting a tad uncomfortable with the rulings coming from the nation’s judiciary on food rights. Many of these individuals, biased as they are against raw milk, dabble in farming to some extent, or grew up on farms. This judge has gone way beyond what many of them have come to assume–that everyone has the right to own a cow and consume its milk Even in places that ban raw milk sales, there’s nearly always a provision in state law that anyone who owns a cow has the right to consume its milk.
Hey, Boy...Yeah, You, WI Farmer...Meet Your New Bossman, Steve Ingham, and Remember, He's "Massuh" to You
Friday, September 16, 2011 at 01:12PM
Wisconsin DATCP Bossman, Steve InghamJudge Patrick Fiedler's decision on the Zinniker and Craig case, and his declaration that we have no right to own a cow or consume its milk, should make clear to Wisconsin farmers that there's a new order, and a new bossman, out on the farm. So there's a new etiquette required if you want to get along.
First thing, how to address Steve Ingham, the head of safety for the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection (DATCP), or any of his lieutenants. Now, if you listen to him speak, he seems like a regular food safety guy, a bacteria-phobe who says he genuinely worries a lot about raw milk safety. But this latest decision by the judge has to have even the most modest fellow feeling pretty big for his britches. So when he arrives at your farm, you want to be prepared for the new way of relating in Wisconsin, as in, "Howdy, Massuh Ingham. Nice day."
Now, if he's in a bad mood and says, "I decide if it's a nice day or not," your response is, "Yassuh Massuh Ingham, yassuh. Don't know what I was thinkin', makin' those kinda judgments. Sometimes I just go blabbin' about. Absolutely, suh."
Then, there's the matter of how he addresses you. When he calls you, "Boy," you need to smile, and, once again, say, "Yassuh Massuh Ingham. Yassuh.
Chances are, he'll want to look around your farm. Of course, your response is, "Mah fahm is yuh fahm, Massuh Ingham. And it would be my honor, suh, to shine your boots, and give them a kiss before you start the inspection."
If he's still in a bad mood, he might say, "What kind of dunce are you? I'll tell you when to kiss my boots. Today I'd like you to kiss my boots at the end of the inspection, when they're good and dirty."
Of course, your response is, "Yassuh Massuh Ingham. My fault for being presumptuous."
If he then says, "Since when are you using such big words, like 'presumptuous,' " you say, "I think I heard it on the television, Massuh Ingham. But I don't usually use such big words."
You might try telling him how wonderful his new study of the Wisconsin dairy industry is, the one about how big CAFO dairies produce milk that's less dirty than small CAFO dairies. "I didn't fully appreciate, Massuh, how much those big guys cared about all the little people. And why people shouldn't automatically assume small farms are best, and not do so much business with the giant corporations."
But be ready for him to ask, "Since when are you reading academic studies?"
Your best response? "I always want to know what smart things Massuh is up to. Yassuh, I want to be like Massuh."
Be ready, though, for him to push back, something like, "Getting a little uppity, it sounds like, with all that reading and analyzing."
Your best response: "Oh no suh. No uppity for me. Just admirin' Massuh."
And by all means, avoid discussion of raw milk. If it comes up, and he says he's heard you like raw milk or have been producing it, you just say: "Raw milk? I heard that's bad stuff, Massuh Ingham. Bad stuff. Why, I heard it can make you real sick, or even sterile, Massuh Ingham."
He'll like that. Probably say you are smarter than he ever thought.
But if he doesn't like the way you say it, watch out. He may chuckle, say something like: "Ya know, I don't care for your tone. If you don't straighten out, I may just bring you before Judge Fiedler. He's the guy who said DATCP tells the farmers what to do. We even decide if it's okay for one of your kids to have a pet goat or pig. Last I heard, he's thinking of bringing back debtor prison if you miss a payment on your farm loan. He also told me he thinks the old practice of public whuppins of slaves, er, farmers, with bad attitudes was a good thing. Now, he's resigning soon, but his cronies all feel the same way. You wouldn't want me to get a judge after you, would you, boy?"
Best to swallow any touch of pride you might have left, and say, "No suh. Absolutely not, suh. You da bossman, and you's a good bossman. No need for any here-comes-da-judge routine. No suh."
He'll probably like that and smile, tell you, "Now that's the kind of attitude we like to see from you farmers. Nice and cooperative. You keep behavin' that way, and you know, we might just become more open minded about this raw milk thing I know you have your heart set on. You give us another, oh, ten, fifteen, maybe twenty five years, and we may just discuss your safety record and see what we can do. Maybe get you a special exemption to drink it on Sundays, just you and your family."
And once again, you tell him how grateful you are for his generosity. "Thank you, suh, I always knew you were a kind and giving soul, a man of the people."
At this point, he may ask you if he can "borrow" you every once in a while, to come over to his farm, and milk the couple cows his wife keeps. Certainly you know the drill by now. It's "Yassuh, that would also be my honor, suh, to milk your wife's cows on my one day off every month. My absolute honor."
If you really want him to glow when he's leaving, turn up the speakers on your computer and play Louis Armstrong singing,"What a Wonderful World". He especially loves this part:
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow.
They'll learn much more...than I'll ever know.
And I think to myself...what a wonderful world."
And if you have any free time, work on your slave talk, so you've got it down just right.
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