Latching to an Institution
Our journeys back to Godhead do not end with initiation. Of course, this is not news to most of our readers, but we can remember our own introductions into spiritual life, and know that newcomers to our movement will undergo the same stages on their reach of a firm hold on the lotus feet of Sri Krsna.
Persons taking to the path of Krsna of consciousness make an error when they believe that donning Vaisnava attire, memorizing slokas, and attending the programs means they are now perfect, they need merely perform the rituals. Yes, they are rightly situated, that is sure, but the internal change of vision that accompanies spiritual advancement, for most of us, is more a long -term comittment.
Temple life can be a lot of fun, let's admit it. Who would not enjoy dancing all day, chanting, associating with pure devotees, taking love-dipped remnants of Radha and Krsna's food, and chanting in the streets? All are equally divine! But if the love is not transferred fully to Krsna, and we simply remain enamored of the gorgeous culture, then our progress slows, we may never make any progress, and some will eventually get bored and go seek other varieties. One who is truly tasting the nectar, as we say in our internal language, does not go chasing after othor forms, as the spiritual connection carries a current of bliss and realization that is proportional, then amplified by Mercy, to the degree of "purity" or sincerity, of a changed heart.
Kindly bear with my pomposity, but consider this; when cutting the veggies, which is it? Are you doing it because; you are avoiding getting heck from the controller locally, because you feel a sense of mutual responsibility, because you want to get pious credits or to be recognized as a good devotee, because it is the right and correct thing to do, because you want to attain all things, including mystic realization, because you were told to do so by Srila Prabhupada, or because you know and really feel you are eternally a servant of Srila Prabhupada, because you are addicted to the ecstatic blue-shadow tears of seperation or the bhavas of your surrendered service, or is it because you love Srila Prabhupada as your spiritual leader/father and you do it whether there is rewards or bhava or whatever or not?
You are actually rewarded more than enough internally now, and you remember this always, and now, you feel you are truly part of Krsna's contingents, His concern and protected family member. We tolerate the world, and taste the fruits of the trees of our services.
Among most humans, there is a natural tendency so slack off sometimes. Krsna consciousness also moves in mysterious ways. Between these two, it is not mechanical-like. We want to reach a point where our baseline of good Krsna feeling is steady, but rather than concentrating on the ecstasy per se, we must take a final turn of the head and look directly at Supersoul within our hearts, Whom is the source of our rasas in bhakti. The bhavas will be there, it is automatic when we actually will have love. Now that we are quite convinced, we can turn to Krsnaji and pray, "I do not recall exactly who I am, but how can I be of the most possible service to You?"
One would think, the bhakti process just begins there, and that is a fact, though we have gotten credit to this point by dint of a glimpse of chanting Harinama by grace of Lord Krsna, Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu, through the transparent via media, the nondifferencefrom Him, of Srila Prabhupada.
Although I have no such personal knowledge, I have heard that actually, we must go up a further rung, and at that time the depth of our realization will be enough to remember our specific eternal identities. We may have inklings of this before that time, and that is when we are in ecstasy, this melting effect constituting a bhava. We may meanwhile concentrate upon the Lord's qualities and the taste we find in our service, as well as knowledge given by the sampradaya . Soon, we can see more clearly than we ever did before, and that is not due to any degree of acheivement or ability in material things, or possesion of beautiful buildings or dress..
"Shaving up and shipping out" is not the conclusion of your search, but the beginning of an entrance into an eternal pure land, and this wonderful Vaikuntha is not composed of any bricks or powers of this temporary realm.
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