A recent correspondence with B. Radha Govinda Swami

[Tamohara dasa ADMIN.]

Dear Tamohara prabhu, 

 

Hare Krsna. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. Please accept my fallen obeisances. I hope your sadhana and bhajan are going well.

 

First, before going down to reply your email in blue, I wanted to say that I saw your email with your poetry which I greatly appreciated - one of the 26 qualities of a devotee, being poetic - and Rasa Manjari's beautiful painting of Krsna's departure for Dvaraka.

 

artwork  by  RMdd

                       

Waves crash upon the beach

Broad sea ever shining stretching out to infinity

Her waves crash producing ripples in the sand

A ripple the life of every man

So precise, so obscure, so soon to disappear

Sky and sun, on they shine, "Never mind! " they cry, "Never mind" !

You man! You thing of clay

Rest lightly upon the earth today

You time here short, like a man-child's play

You may tarry long, but soon enough your time will be gone

And other rows of ripples dawn on distant shores

And tho the crow calls "Nevermore!"

Yet still we cling to our dream within a dream.

and though we die, our heads were held high

as we searched for Love never ending,

a Radha-Krsna-love Supreme.

 

Tdasa

 

                                  RMdd

 

--- On Mon, 9/17/12, Tamohara dasa vanaprastha <[e-mail]> wrote:

From: Tamohara dasa vanaprastha <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: Sept 17: Hare Krsna reply
To: "B. Radha-Govinda Swami (ACBSP)" <[e-mail]>
Date: Monday, September 17, 2012, 8:35 PM

Dearest B. Radha Govinda;

You and your life is an enigma to me.

It drives me nuts... (including trying to "figure it out as to the "whys"... of the so manys of it; though I do believe I have a few things "figured out" about it.)

Young woman takes sannyasa, devotes herself to service and any fool can see you have a heart as big as the sky, but this so much suffering you endure.

Part of the difficulty (in regards to these particular times in Kali Yuga) in having a heart that genuinely cares about others, and in being an honest person, as well as someone who accepted the Krsna conscious philosophy in it's idealistic sense - being so submissive and surrendered to my immediate ISKCON authorities, in thoughts that this was what would be pleasing to Srila Prabhupada, Krsna's PURE Ambassador - and being a submissive person in general, and not liking conflict (and would do anything to avoid it), and being a person who doesn't want to hurt others, in its own sense, one can see how the above factors can (and will) bring on a lot of suffering. Of course there must be at least some, if not a lot of karma involved in this "combination"; meaning that I must have been doing bad things to others in my previous lives so that now, my personality and situation have been made such, so that I can get my karmic "payback" of sustaining such (what appears to be) negative stuff

It makes no sense, but I am sure there is a very good explanation for all this.

I'm sure there must be, and I come up with various "theories," but I certainly do NOT know for sure what is/are the reason(s).

Yes, everything comes from Krsna and His expanded energies, including terrible brutality and ignorance. And as the Supreme Enjoyer, ...

So the question comes, "Is Krsna ALL loving, and ALL compassionate, and ALL merciful, and ALL kind?" Does Krsna LOVE ALL Who He creates, or does He DISlike some? Has He created some of us so that He CAN exhibit His brutality? or is Krsna NEVER brutal? (I wish Srila Prabhupada was here, because I would be asking these questions, though I'm sure IF Srila Prabhupada had still been here, such questions may not have come up, though it's possible they may have, my seeing SO MUCH SUFFERING in general on ALL levels, of the jivas on this Earth planet - and what to speak of the punishments in the hellish planets. Krsna certainly has thought up a LOT of  (in one sense UNlimited) forms of suffering.

So i admit sometimes i watch a gruesome movie with gangsters and prisons and brutality, and it makes me feel ill and exhillerated at the same time.

Really? (I'm VERY!!! DIFFERENT!!! I would even CRY when someone purposely stepped on an ant, or purposely slammed/squashed a spider, etc.)

I dream horrid dreams afterwards, but my adrenaline gets going a little, and a man likes to feel the tougher side of the world in his veins sometimes if he is like me.

There are general differences (with some exceptions) in the psychology of the male and female body. (Although SOME people who doN'T know me, THINK (and will say) that I'm a "feminist," I'm not.) I very much recognize that there are these differences, though as Kali Yuga has become more and more progressively sinful, there becomes some lessening of these differences.

I like to push weights and ride my bike hard without let up.  Normally, i am not like that, ie one who is a macho knuckle head.  But a part of me gets a thrill to see men fight and kill each other. Its so animalistic, but hey, Kuruksetra was so bloody that rivers with body parts flowed by, and those who were cowards  swooned, and those who were not, were amazed.

I understand what you're saying. I would have probably dropped dead inHORROR (getting SO SICK and in SHOCK, that it would have made me drop dead) if I had been there to see even the beginnings of the Kuruksetra war. I was never able as a child to watch violent things on TV, and haven't watched anything since 1967. But I know that I wouldn't be able to watch anything violent now. 

 

Even whenever someone attacked me physically, I wasn't able to make myself react, because my psyche couldn't hurt them, though if someone else was being attacked, I would "automatically" react. I suppose that might have been (besides the mothering instinct), the fact that someone was going to get hurt, so my body would react to attack the person who was the aggressor.

No doubt all this comes from Krsna, but His pastimes ultimately liberate the jivas when they are elevated enough to fight with Him. Not everyone is allowed this privilege; mostly they just die stupidly and are reborn again and again.

Fighting with Krsna - where Krsna awards liberation to the jive He has chosen to fight with Him - is one thing, but the collective jivas being subjected through Krsna's material energy to the SO MANY (UNlimited) forms of sufferings is another. So again the question comes, "Did Krsna in creating these unlimited varieties of suffering, do so at least partially, because He sometimes derives pleasure in seeing such sufferings?"

Your suffering is for a reason, we must agree, as there are no coincidences.

I agree.

 

Myself, my ill health issues are relatively mild compared to yours. When i have no money and no power to change things, i feel that i wish it were different, but i have no control and so try to remember favorably and accept my lot. 

 

I understand. I not only think about the suffering I as an individual undergo, but the sufferings of the jivas in general, who are in this material world. Thinking about the torture an insect must be feeling when the spider catches it and sucks out its juices, thus, its life air being "sucked away," or the animal that gets attacked by several lionesses, the torture it's being made to go through while still remaining alive as its body is being eaten, or the torture the victim feels when attacked by the teeth of a crocodile sinking into its victim... or the torture one feels after a knife/sword has been plunged into their chest, etc. (And what to speak about the tortures of the hellish planets...) So I think about these kinds of things, and it makes me wonder if Krsna is truly ALL loving, ALL kind, ALL merciful, ALL compassionate, etc.

 

But inside i harbor resentment and a wish for justice at any cost. 

 

I don't like when someone "screws me over," but I don't wish any bad on them. Though people may have a different understanding from how I've written things (in terms of articles against the ISKCON atrocities), I truly do not wish any suffering on (or for) anyone.

 

There is one redeeming quality of suffering; one certainly harbors no further illusions about wanting to enjoy material existence forever.

 

That's true, yet, at the same time, when suffering becomes too much beyond a person's limit to bear it, it's possible that that person can begin to feel doubts in regards to Krsna's loving nature, and can begin to feel negative feelings about Krsna.

Lord Krsna says that those who do good are never vanquished.

Seeing the so many things that have happened in this world, Krsna must be referring to the spiritual platform (not material). After all, we can see what happened to our own Spiritual Father, His Divine Grace. Certainly we know Srila Prabhupada returned to Goloka (from where He descended for His Krsna given mission), but in terms of physically, these usurpers gave Srila Prabhupada poison, and in terms of the externals, it worked (and Srila Prabhupada in terms of externally, appeared to exhibit suffering).

Is there any doubt that you have lived a life of a warrior, a spiritual fighter for right? You will humbly scoff, but not me.

No, I won't "scoff" here. You're right. I have gone through a lot, both "in" ISKCON, (serving, and even fighting for Srila Prabhupada and Krsna), and "outside," speaking up against the deviated ISKCON, and its (MIS)leaders who brought it to such deviation.

They killed you long ago, you are hanging on by shear gumption.

I think my "hanging on" is because Krsna is NOT allowing me to die yet, for whatever HIS reason(s) - one of which seems to be that He wants to torture me further in this body (which may be literal, as when things "go down" further, I may be one of the first people taken, since I wear devotee clothing, with shaved head, and...) Apparently "Hare Krsnas" are on the US list of terrorists.

I think of our Godbrother Nitai dasa, who died of some stupid tuberculosis in Krsna-nagara when they could have given him the required ticket back to Europe to go to a real hospital. Can you imagine his mood at that point? i have also felt abandonned and cheated by Iskcon on more than one occassion! Even our spiritual master was murdered. 

All of it is summed up here: Obviously if they could (callously) MURDER Srila Prabhupada, then what to speak of how they can (and will) treat we peons? I've been "shitted on" in ISKCON since day one. I NEVER came because of the devotees, but because of the philosophy, and Srila Prabhupada, Whose personality I could "feel" behind His writings. (Other than one male devotee who was nice to me, I was never "impressed" with the devotees; felt them to be SO IMpersonal, and even they thought I was "weird" because I came with 25 earrings in each ear and three noserings, when nobody had multiple piercings back then. I also put on some simple Krsna-related tattoos, (that said "Hare Krsna" or a lotus flowe, and the devotees didn't like that either, though tattoos later became a "style." I would have put on pictures of Krsna, but the tattoo artists back then weren't able to do this, and in fact the tattoo artist who I went to WREAKED up on the "Hare," so I did the other tattoos myself, the reason being, is that I had been told that if someone sees a picture of Krsna, or says "Hare Krsna" they would get purified. So this was why I put on the tattoos (at age 13).

 

Though on one level we don't want to believe that the general group of ISKCON devotees is what it is, obviously if they can MURDER Krsna's PURE AMBASSADOR, Who BROUGHT Krsna consciousness to them, then they can do ANY OTHER HORRENDOUS thing to ANYONE!!!

Today, i was working with these elastic band ropes for exercise. I was throwing punches against a resistance, and i thought of beating Jayapataka in the head, and the other murderers to death, and i threw punches and great anger came out and i cried and punched and wanted to kill them!!!

I understand, (and one wonders, WHY Krsna let's these people "go on," yet, for those devotees who have the desire to serve Srila Prabhupada and Krsna lovingly, seriously, it is they who are, or seem to be, undergoing the greatest sufferings).

I did not know why sometimes i cry for no reason, and i have learned it is because of the anger and need for justice inside me that cries for it!

I totally understand. My angry feelings are towards Krsna; that He has allowed things to go the way they have, and to the extent they have. Krsna SENT His PURE devotee as His Ambassador, allowed for Srila Prabhupada to give His association to so many of the DEMONIC people in ISKCON, with VERY FEW of the serious people being able to get personal association, yet only after a VERY SHORT time, Srila Prabhupada was taken away from us, many of the SERIOUS devotees NOT getting any personal association with His Divine Grace.

Your well wishes for Rasa and I mean a lot. I much appreciate your encouraging words.

I TRULY HOPE that things will work out WONDERFULLY for BOTH of you, and my thoughts are that if it does, you will feel more peaceful in heart. When a husband is being served nicely by his wife, and she being nicely protected by her husband, though there are so many other cause of disturbance in Kali Yuga, they can live nicely and peacefully when these criteria are met.

I have tried to do some good for others, and yes, SPI carries on as before, maybe better than ever, we simply get tighter as a group over time. You are welcome at any time there! We had many members at one point, and the bitch Puranjana and his cutthroats attacked our site and shut it down, stole my identity, shut off my youtube channel i was preaching from and had gotten so many people to come to SPI. The Prabhupadanugas on the thread including Yasodananadana and them all approve of this creep and liar ali-pada and the forty thieves. I suspect them of being duped compartmentalized fools for the CIA and the Jews etc.  They stole my identity and sent threatening insane letters to twenty five years worth of business contacts and fellow audiology professionals, such that three calls were made to police in three cities in Canada.

I'm sorry that this happened, and it's a sad thing that people who are supposely devotees will do these things.

 

Though I know nothing about computers, other than sending an email from Yahoo, and could never do, and never did anything so extensive as you have (the SPI website and posting videos), that Prabhupadanga hacked into my email account, looking over (the few) private emails that I had accidentally neglected to delete from my "save draft" section, and had caused the problems he did, his also making up false emails and sending them out from my account making it look like they were from me, etc. (Even with what he did on this small level caused enough problems, so it was probably good that I did (and do) not have further knowledge about computers, because I'm sure if I had tried to do anything along these greater lines with a computer, like starting a website, etc., someone would have done the same thing to me. We live in a very sick world... 

So, we all get our asses kicked in this fight. But dont worry, in the long run, our "gang" will win and these bastards will all go straight to perdition.

It's not easy to try to be a devotee. I'm sure when we all came, we had NO idea that there would be such difficulty in these regards...

Why did Krsna allow Srila Prabhupada to be poisonned? Imagine our guru at the end, none of his disciples helped him, we were useless twits. Did he feel like we abandoned him to die? I am sure he realized that we were just ignorant wannabes, no power, no intelligence to help him out of the hands of the globalist murderers. We did not know what was going on, we trusted infidels.  They mostly killed us all. Demons took everything, so sick and so perverted. But even Srila Prabhupada had to be crucified for their sake.

I'm sure if even only a handful of devotees would have known what was going on - that these demons were purposefully poisoning Srila Prabhupada - they would have beaten them to death. (Now instead we have Bhavananda, who was INVITED by ISKCON YEARS AGO to COME TO LIVE IN MAYAPUR AND BE SUPPORTED BY ISKCON - so he came - his sitting on the asana in Mayapur giving classes, telling devotees that they "are fallen.") Maybe when you go to Mayapur with Rasa Manjari prabhu, you will get to see him there...

There is much, indeed most, that i do not understand, but you and i have some faith that has brought us this far.

Yes, this is true, though it certainly is so VERY!!! (EXTREMELY!!!) PAINFUL!!!

There is of course no use in changing our minds at this point to join the Christians etc ! lol!

Agreed, though some devotees have done this...

It seems more that the good people are being used like slaves and the biggest turds rise l to the top of the toilet bowl! ( like that analogy? )

 Yes, (though I have to admit, I've never looked...)

Never worry, Mataji, as you say it is a blink of an eye. You will know the hows and whys when the battle is over and we are resting. Please, for now, try to find some peace. There is meaning and there is reason and there is love, and so long as these are our aims, we shall gravitate towards them, and if not, then it is all a big joke, and there is no meaning and so there is no cause for despair. Either way, we are rightly situated based upon  instructions from the elevated souls.

In the "end" of it all, we will either get to know what's necessary, after all the purification, or not get to know, (and if not, there's nothing that can be done about that either).

What i wouldn't give for the power to help people, even here in this world ! THAT is why i entertain world politics etc as i see we are nothing in terms of world power, so we can learn from the enemy and see his plans and try to rile the world up to awaken and tear down the walls blinding them inside their mind and in turn tear down the Enemy. By posting reality, and forcing the devotees faces into it and out of their dreams, then perhaps we will get the job done!

I was actually thinking about this for a few days; the so many (uncountable) problems in the world, and how we are thinking "If I (as an individual) can do this, then..." [this (X) will be solved]: NWO, GMOs, HAARP, chemtrails, people hating one another due to this or that bodily prejudice, the so many wars, and what to speak of the "natural" disturbances, some of which are being purposefully caused by man, whereas others are coming from nature (be it due to its "supposed to be happening" or Mother Bhumi's reacting to the imbalances being caused by mankind to Her body. I'm certainly NOT saying "Just sit back and relax, and let 'God' do His thing," but in the reality of it all, there are SO MANY PROBLEMS (caused by mankind's NOT being in proper balance with Krsna's ("God's") direction of how things ARE to be), so it seems that at this point, to get things to get or go back "on track," it will NEED Krsna's direct intervention, in whatever form this is going to take.

 

With the world being as it is, what politician really (even possessed of GOOD motive), has any capacity to (really) DO anything which will "make things right"?

 

The ONLY reason why things could be governed (properly) in Dvarpara Yuga and prior to that, is because the kings WERE following Krsna's directions for governance taking instruction from the Sastras and brahmanas; their KNOWING what Krsna wanted.

ONLY when government is FOLLOWING KRSNA'S directions for governance, can things be good on all levels, and when they aren't then we see the things we do; demons being allowed to have the controls they do over the things they do.

 

What there really is a lack of (as Srila Prabhupada had said), is Krsna consciousness, and the SAD part about this, is that those who ARE TRYING to develop Krsna consciousness in such a DEMONICALLY controlled and DEMONIC society, are feeling such suffering and repression so deeply.

I think the only reason Jayapatala and etc still live is that there is some doubts, and no one wants to mistakenly take care of innocents too harshly in error.

Prabhu, the WHOLE!!! GBC KNOWS!!! that Srila Prabhupada was poisoned and!!! BY WHO! Besides whatever their OTHER reasons (money, position, power for themselves, etc.), they are PURPOSEFULLY keeping it "under the rug." 

After their keeping it so (purposefully) HIDDEN for THIS long, if devotees were to find out that the GBC as individuals and a collective body were purposefully keeping this hidden from the devotees, Krsna only knows how the devotees would react in upset in regards to the GBC's DIShonesty in keeping this covered up. 

 

(Please read this next part carefully, so there will be no possibility of its getting misunderstood):

 

Though it's also possible that devotees have, after all these years, been so "dumbed down" between the various factors, that they might not even care that the GBC kept things hidden for so long, and devotees may even come up with the "excuse" (for the GBC's having kept it hidden for so long), "Oh, it's good the GBC kept it all hidden. They 'had' to keep it quiet, because in their 'concern' for the devotees, they knew that something like this would cause such upset to the devotees, so this is 'why' they 'had' to keep it quiet, and 'were legitimate' in doing so."

 

I've even heard devotees say that they accepted that Srila Prabhupada WAS POISONED, BUT, they would add on to their statement, "But this is old, so why think about it? Why bring it up?" (It just shows how DUMBED DOWN A LOT of devotees have become.)

but there is no doubt, so why are these persons still walking and not beaten into bloody pulps  long ago? Iskcon is populated with penniless vegetarians and lovers, and cowards and fools, and so the demons laugh and take advantage and kill us like dumb dogs.

The ITS A CON "leaders" USE those "penniless vegetarians and lovers, and cowards and fools" to physically ATTACK people like us, who have spoken and are speaking up with the truth.

But we are in the heart of the enemy, we are fighting on the enemie's turf, a small handful throwing themselves against a wall nine feet thick.

And feeling the pains of it all in the process... (Don't get me wrong here. I'm NOT saying not to fight. (We HAVE to present the truth.) I'm just saying that in our doing so, we're feeling all the pains; emotional and otherwise. I suppose we can even give a comparison between Yudhisthira and Arjuna fighting a fight that they knew they had to. Not only did they have to go through the pains of fighting, but on another level they also felt the emotional pain, because it was their family who had caused this fight, not some stranger. So similarly, we are feeling the emotional pain on the so many levels - Srila Prabhupada's having been poisoned by these ROGUES; Srila Prabhupada's ISKCON being RUINED by these (same, and OTHER) ROGUES, our getting messed over by these ROGUES and their indoctrinates, our being forced to live in a non-devotee society, and in so many cases, not having any personal devotee association (other than emailing or over a telephone, but no one in terms of other devotees to be able to be with in regards to having kirtan, etc.), and our speaking up with the truth, and getting condemned on all levels (even physically attacked) in doing so.

I am not clear on many thing, please excuse my ranting with no practical solutions other than to keep on trying to preach etc.

A lot of us are feeling the pressures and pains in trying to remain devotees in this non-devotee (and demonic) world. Srila Prabhupada tried to provide a society which, besides facilitating the distribution of His books, would provide a shelter for those who were desireous of living as serious devotees, but we know what happened. So we ended up in the situations we have. Although everything has its good purposes, it is not always so easy to see the good in them. Hopefully Krsna will enable us to see this good.

Sending my best well wishes and prayers. Hare Krsna.  Radha and Krsna will not forget you!!

And you and your service to Them, and their devotees, ESPECIALLY your being able to render DIRECT service to Their PURE devotee, will always be remembered. I just HOPE that They will NOT remember me for, or remember my offenses on the so many levels on which I've committed offenses.

 

You please be well.

May we be safely situated under the shelter of Srila Prabhupada's Lotus Feet, Those of our Guru Varga, the Vaisnavas, and Sri Sri Radha and Krsna.

With love, 

 

Your servant, 

B. Radha-Govinda

Hare Krsna

Tdasa