In relation to the PS, you've written here, and your specific question, no, you're not "being a total ass." You, like so many of us, are so much wanting to have (and we are in NEED of having) the association of other devotees, so this is really the expression of your desire for having devotee association, which is what all of us are so much desiring and are in NEED of).
It's only normal for all of us who are aspiring devotees to want other devotee association, and especially in the Western society which is so not oriented to Krsna consciousness, we are feeling even more so very deeply the effects of not being able to have good devotee association - and having been pushed into a position of having to go for so many years without it.
Because of what happened in regards to what the ISKCON leaders did, many of us are deeply feeling the (horrific) effects, and it seems that now we are feeling the effects even more intensely, and we are getting older in body as well...
We came to Srila Prabhupada's Lotus Feet and surrendered, our doing so because we seriously accepted the Krsna consciousness philosophy. We followed the sadhana program (or had service during the program, but had something related to Krsna), rendered our service, and then got forced out into the non-devotee world. So we have been given that taste of Krsna consciousness, and are in the (forced) situations we are, though we WANT SO MUCH to be able to be WITH devotees, rendering service to Srila Prabhupada and following that which Srila Prabhupada gave to us. So we are greatly suffering from not being able to be where we had made the choice to be; with devotees, following the process of Krsna consciousness that Srila Prabhupada gave to us.
There are no real devotee communities, and ISKCON is so compromised, some devotees living in places where there are no temples, and even where there is an ISKCON temple, because there is such compromisation, etc., devotees who are followers of Srila Prabhupada aren't feeling a sense of shelter.
So devotees are hankering for other devotee association, and your (and for all of us) wanting to be with another devotee or other devotees is based on that desire for the execution of Krsna consciousness.
Why Krsna has allowed for so many devotees who wanted to follow the process and serve Srila Prabhupada to be put into such suffering conditions - not being able to have the association of devotees - I can only speculate, but don't (for sure) know why. I just know that a lot of us are suffering in this way...
I'm sick of not being able to be with other devotees, and especially on days like Janmastami, Radhastami, Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu's, and Lord Nityananda's Appearance Day, etc.
To me it's all so crazy... what has happened...
So again, no, you're not "being a total ass."
--- On Sun, 3/24/13, Tamoharadasa <tamoharadasa@yahoo.ca> wrote:
From: Tamoharadasa <tamoharadasa@yahoo.ca> Subject: Re: Mar reply resend To: "B. Radha-Govinda Swami (ACBSP)" <rgswami108@yahoo.com> Date: Sunday, March 24, 2013, 6:31 AM |
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Dear B. Radha-Govinda Swami (ACBSP);
Thank you for a reassuring reply.
Its not easy trying to set a good standard when one is new to the traditions, in so many ways this adventure of spreading Krsna culture has had to struggle. Mostly persons until recently, from without Vaisnava society, we have had to absorb and learn and adapt such a huge mountain of information from across kalpas of eons of time, and apply the lessons as best we can worldwide, without precedent sometimes, so it has been easy for no one. And we are spread so far and wide now, that many of us do indeed find ourselves with no other devotees about, and after a time like this, it becomes most trying.
The eTemple is meant to help with this, but it depends upon the devotees whether they wish to take advantage fully or not.
Gaura Nitai kijaya!