"You cook samosas. You chant beautifully, you have love for Krishna. What else is needed?"
Sudama: Srila Prabhupada saw me come in. I paid my obeisances, and he jumped all over me. "What is this? Why you have left? Why you are dressed like that?" He asked me all these questions for twenty minutes. I was sweating, crying, very upset, very confused, very on edge, very on trial in front of my God-brothers, who were really strangers. I had gotten a temple that was too big, and my men had been stolen. It was the old politics game.
Srila Prabhupada said, "I want to know one thing before I send you out of here. Do you still love Krishna? Do you believe in Krishna?" I said, "Yes." He said, "All right. You will be okay." Then he turned to everybody in the room and said, "This is disgusting. This is not how Vaishnavas behave. You knew that Sudama needed help. You knew that Sudama was crying out in maya, and you ignored him. This is not Vaishnava behavior. A true Vaishnava," he said, "would have taken him by the hand earlier on so that this would never have taken place."
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At one point Prabhupada started to talk about Krishna's intimate childhood pastimes, how He showed Mother Yasoda the Universal Form within His mouth. As Prabhupada described this, he started to cry profusely. Then he described the pastime of Krishna killing Putana, and he explained that even though Krishna was a baby, He was able to kill such a gigantic demon, and how that is the transcendental potency of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna. Prabhupada was crying.
This was the first time that my understanding crystallized. It became a bit more like a realization. We knew that Prabhupada was a very exalted, saintly person and a great preacher. But this time I felt that Prabhupada was actually experiencing these pastimes with Krishna. We read them and think, "This is very nice and very sweet."
But Prabhupada was actually experiencing the transcendental pastimes of Krishna in his heart. And although he was always enjoying these sweet realizations of Krishna, he was preaching Krishna consciousness in a practical way. That was Prabhupada's mercy.
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I didn't want to discuss death, although ninety-nine percent of our process is chanting Hare Krishna and preparing for the moment of death so that we can become liberated. In Berkeley, Prabhupada talked to me about his leaving, and I didn't deal with it well. I didn't want to hear it.
As far as I was concerned, he was living forever, which he does. But he was talking about the position of the siksha and diksha guru. I was totally confused. I said, "Srila Prabhupada, all I know is you. Now you are saying there is another kind of guru. What is this?" "Wait, wait," he said.
He chuckled and told me, "When you do not see me here physically, always listen for me. I will instruct you through the bodies of others from time to time. Always listen for me." I said, "What does that mean, Srila Prabhupada—if a dog barks?" He said, "Just what I said—anyone, it can be anyone."
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On a morning walk Srila Prabhupada told me, "If you think that you have become spiritually advanced and you start acting a role, you will become mad." He instructed other people to read his books because he is in his books. I know that he is. I was just never a big reader.
In Hawaii I went to him in tears. I said, "They all criticize me because I don't chant enough Sanskrit. I don't quote slokas." Srila Prabhupada laughed. He said, "They sound like my God-brothers. Sudama, you speak from your heart. That's all that counts. Krishna doesn't care if you can't quote slokas. You are a good preacher. You bring many people because of your heart."
I said, "I have only read The Nectar of Devotion twice, Bhagavad-gita ten times, and that's it. I can't even finish the First Canto of Srimad-Bhagavatam." He said, "So? You cook samosas. You chant beautifully, you have love for Krishna. What else is needed? Don't make things so complicated. It's very simple."
--Sudama dasa
http://prabhupadamemories.com Siddhānta dāsa, ITV
Ref. iOS VedaBase, Section 22. Biographies and Glorification of Śrīla Prabhupāda / Śrīla Prabhupāda - Remembrances [Siddhānta dāsa, ITV]
Bhaktivedanta iOS Vedabase programmed by Gopala Priya dasa.* https://appsto.re/us/mKGfL.i *In corporation with the Bhaktivedanta Archives. Contents based on the original 2014.1 Windows and Mac VedaBase produced and published by the Bhaktivedanta Archives.
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