PROPER WAY TO DEAL WITH NON-DEVOTEE HUSBAND
1.BEING SUBMISSIVE
2.TOLERANT AND PATIENCE
3.ATTENTIVELY SERVING HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY
4.SERIOUSNESS IN CHANTING AND READING
5.COOKING NICELY AND CLEANING HOME
6.SHOULD BE EXPERT IN MANAGING HOUSEHOLD ACTIVITIES
7.NEVER ARGUE OR FIGHT WITH HUSBAND
8.ALWAYS SPEAKING SOFTLY WITH SWEET WORDS.
If you say "no" "no" and go against Your non-devotee husband, he will try his best to go even more against. So Krishna conscious wife achieves her goals in a smart way. First she accepts him as what he is saying then later by her good service attitude makes him to accept her own vision in life and in that way fulfills her desires.
So first is to understand the false ego of a man - I am a master over You and You have to do what i order You to do.
When wife closes her eyes and being tolerant accepts him as a master and herself a subordinate for him she will win his heart and that means he will fulfill desires not his own but wives' ...
So it is an art.
Srila Prabhupada told the story of his sister. He said that soon after her marriage her husband led a life of debauchery. He stayed out late at night woman-hunting, drinking (attached to at least 2 or 3 of the 4 sinful principles). He was verbally abusive toward Prabhupada’s sister. When he came home at odd hours he would demand dinner be ready. Prabhupada said his sister continued to serve him. She tolerated all non-sense and didn’t fight with him. (Although he was verbally abusive, if the wife tolerates and does not argue back, even such a low class man will not become physically abusive. Such men, will however, become physically abusive if the wife argues and fights back or acts unsubmissive). Prabhupada’s sister remained chaste and faithful and tolerated all non-sense. Prabhupada says one day Prabhupada’s brother-in-law realized what a special jewel his wife actually was. He immediately realized how horrible he had been treating her. He turned his life around, and Prabhupada said he actually became surrendered to his wife after this. This is not just Indian culture It is human psychology, human nature. Such behavior is the same in any culture.
Manu Samhita in this regard states: (MS 5.154) "Though destitute of virtue, or seeking pleasure elsewhere, or devoid of good qualities, a husband must be constantly worshipped as good as God by a faithful wife." So Manu says even if the man has no good qualities, even if he is seeking pleasure with other women, still the wife should worship him as good as God. That is a law of dharma. The duty of a good wife.
Whenever your husband appreciates you for being a good wife, you always say that it's only because of Srila Prabhupada that u are convinced that the only duty of a girl is to serve her husband and her family nicely. You give credit of all your good qualities to Srila Prabhupada and this gives you a chance to explain what a wonderful person Srila Prabhupada was, and how his teachings are the way to live a harmonious life.
When you visit ISKCON temple, make your husband meet many ghristha devotees there, who are working on very high posts in their offices but are serving humbly in the Temple. This creates a positive image of ISKCON in front of your husband, which helps a lot in his transformation.
1.BEING SUBMISSIVE
2.TOLERANT AND PATIENCE
3.ATTENTIVELY SERVING HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY
4.SERIOUSNESS IN CHANTING AND READING
5.COOKING NICELY AND CLEANING HOME
6.SHOULD BE EXPERT IN MANAGING HOUSEHOLD ACTIVITIES
7.NEVER ARGUE OR FIGHT WITH HUSBAND
8.ALWAYS SPEAKING SOFTLY WITH SWEET WORDS.
If you say "no" "no" and go against Your non-devotee husband, he will try his best to go even more against. So Krishna conscious wife achieves her goals in a smart way. First she accepts him as what he is saying then later by her good service attitude makes him to accept her own vision in life and in that way fulfills her desires.
So first is to understand the false ego of a man - I am a master over You and You have to do what i order You to do.
When wife closes her eyes and being tolerant accepts him as a master and herself a subordinate for him she will win his heart and that means he will fulfill desires not his own but wives' ...
So it is an art.
Srila Prabhupada told the story of his sister. He said that soon after her marriage her husband led a life of debauchery. He stayed out late at night woman-hunting, drinking (attached to at least 2 or 3 of the 4 sinful principles). He was verbally abusive toward Prabhupada’s sister. When he came home at odd hours he would demand dinner be ready. Prabhupada said his sister continued to serve him. She tolerated all non-sense and didn’t fight with him. (Although he was verbally abusive, if the wife tolerates and does not argue back, even such a low class man will not become physically abusive. Such men, will however, become physically abusive if the wife argues and fights back or acts unsubmissive). Prabhupada’s sister remained chaste and faithful and tolerated all non-sense. Prabhupada says one day Prabhupada’s brother-in-law realized what a special jewel his wife actually was. He immediately realized how horrible he had been treating her. He turned his life around, and Prabhupada said he actually became surrendered to his wife after this. This is not just Indian culture It is human psychology, human nature. Such behavior is the same in any culture.
Manu Samhita in this regard states: (MS 5.154) "Though destitute of virtue, or seeking pleasure elsewhere, or devoid of good qualities, a husband must be constantly worshipped as good as God by a faithful wife." So Manu says even if the man has no good qualities, even if he is seeking pleasure with other women, still the wife should worship him as good as God. That is a law of dharma. The duty of a good wife.
Whenever your husband appreciates you for being a good wife, you always say that it's only because of Srila Prabhupada that u are convinced that the only duty of a girl is to serve her husband and her family nicely. You give credit of all your good qualities to Srila Prabhupada and this gives you a chance to explain what a wonderful person Srila Prabhupada was, and how his teachings are the way to live a harmonious life.
When you visit ISKCON temple, make your husband meet many ghristha devotees there, who are working on very high posts in their offices but are serving humbly in the Temple. This creates a positive image of ISKCON in front of your husband, which helps a lot in his transformation.
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